well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
