Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize