So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
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That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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