i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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