My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
