So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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