:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
