Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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