What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
