Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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