you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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