this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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