There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
