the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
