"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize