so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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