i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
