24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
