he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
