I'm going to jail i love you
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
