I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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