I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He shit in the fireplace
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
