I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He felt like a one man threesome
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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