just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
