The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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