Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
