You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
