Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize