I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize