Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize