Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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