gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize