it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
