Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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