and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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