So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
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Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
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Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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