Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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