Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
