Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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