One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
