just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
