CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
