my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize