btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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