Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
