i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
