Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
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He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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