I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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