Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
