U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
