I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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