too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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