You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
