So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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