They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
