I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
