Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
