The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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