I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize