My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
