The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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