i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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