My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
