if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
