He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
