its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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