maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
