I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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